In the Beginning

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In the Beginning

Postby random » Tue Jan 12, 2016 5:50 pm

I found this going through some old papers and had to share:


In the beginning, God Created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was faced with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact report. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with the Cease and Desist order for earthly parts. Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in the first place. He replied that he just liked to be creative.

Then God said, "Let there be light." Officials immediately demanded to know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about thermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming that no smoke would result from the ball of fire, that he would obtain a building permit, and (to conserve energy) would have the light out half the time. God agreed and said he would call the light "Day" and the darkness "Night". Officials replied that they were not interested in semantics.

God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as many seed." The EPA agreed so long as native seed was used. Then God said, "Let waters bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may fly over the earth." Officials pointed out this would require approval from the Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and the Audubongelic Society.

Everything was ok until God said he wanted to complete the project in six days. Officials informed him it would take at least 200 days to review the application and the environmental impact statement. After that there would be a public hearing. Then there would be 10-12 months before...

At this point, God created Hell.
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Re: In the Beginning

Postby gijoe » Wed Jan 13, 2016 2:44 pm

:lol: :lol:

Is that the Celestial Civil Service that the US civil service uses as a template? or some other country's civil service?

also :lol: :lol:
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